This is an inappriopriately titled post.

I want to account an anecdote. Sort of. We were in the OT this morning when the very friendly nurse asked if my firm partner and I were a couple. Obviously not! She kept promoting me to him which was quite hilarious because obviously, I wouldn’t buy into that.

Finally, I whispered to her.. “I’ve got someone else in mind!”

“OOOOOhhh..” she finally got it. Too bad, she added.

I said it to stop her from trying to set us up. But more importantly, it wasn’t a lie.. it was just that mutualism does not (more like, NEVER) exist in my case.

Ku mau cinta Yesus selamanya
Ku mau cinta Yesus selamanya
Meskipun badai silih berganti dalam hidupku
Ku tetap cinta Yesus selamanya
Ya Bapa, Bapa Ini aku anakMu
Layakanlah seluruh hidupku
Ya Bapa, Bapa Ini aku anakMu
Pakailah sesuai dengan rencanaMu
This is the song I’ve been listening to. The lyrics speaks to me, and it speaks of me. I want to love Him forever even despite the hardships in my life.

Even though I have so many questions, doubts and uncertainties, I want wholeheartedly to love Him. Although I still cannot comprehend this entire spiritual thing, I still choose to want to believe in Him.

Yes, over and over again we hear of people complaining that it is over commercialised and that young couples are getting too into V Day that they fail to realise the real meaning behind appreciating their partner.

This time last year, I was at the local megamall shopping all alone on a special, lovey dovey day like this. What did I do?

Observe. I observed couples wearing matching tops, holding hands and bouquets of roses. I also observed the dining atmosphere. Lights were dimmed in restaurants like Nandos or Manhattan Fish Market. I am quite impressed to see so many things changed just for one occassion. I think I ended up alone in a Japanese restaurant.

This year, V Day would be at home.

With a bowl of Sarawak Laksa, what could be better!

Gosh, how I love the piano.

I just cannot stop admiring the sound coming out from the piano. It is simply so beautiful. I love, love, LOVE music. It is not only guitars but guitars and songs from various artists.

Se7en, for example.

Drool, people. Drool.

He is so so hot.

Well, I am just fresh out of Facebook admiring wedding photos. I tell you, some wedding photos just make you feel like getting married at this very instant!

My friend thinks I am impatient and cannot wait. We ended up ranting away our singlehood fate.

I mean, who is 22 and still single?

*Waves hand, waves and waves. That’s me, obviously.

Sometimes, I feel absolutely happy and fine with my current state. I do not think I can handle a relationship yet. Other times, I feel rather pathetic looking at my own situation. Am I fussy, choosy or simply lousy?

First and foremost, I don’t have any ‘candidates’ to choose from. So maybe I should be in the ‘lousy’ category. But hey, everyone is significant in God’s eyes, do not ever condemn yourself to be a lousy girl. So I get back to square one.

You know what, people just tell me, time is not here yada yada yada. Be in my shoes and feel what I feel before you start preaching to me!